<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>You Belong Here by darcyland</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29916717">You Belong Here</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/darcyland/pseuds/darcyland'>darcyland</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Good Place (TV), WandaVision (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - The Good Place (TV) Fusion, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bisexual Darcy Lewis, Bisexual Monica Rambeau, Darcy Lewis Has ADHD, Darcy Lewis-centric, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Gen, POV Darcy Lewis, Sharing a Bed, darcy is eleanor, monica is chidi, there are literally no relevant straight characters because marvel</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-05-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 20:33:48</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,007</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29916717</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/darcyland/pseuds/darcyland</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Darcy Lewis dies and ends up in The Good Place, it’s a bit of a surprise, but she knows better than to look a gift horse in the mouth.</p>
<p>Then she meets her so-called soulmate.</p>
<p>Or: The Good Place but make it WandaVision; cheleanor but make it marcy!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Darcy Lewis &amp; Monica Rambeau &amp; Jimmy Woo, Darcy Lewis/Monica Rambeau, Minor Agatha Harkness/Wanda Maximoff</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>78</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Everything Is Fine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>sitcoms &amp; sapphics &amp; superheroes are some of my favorite things so i mushed them together and came up with this !</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Welcome! Everything Is Fine.</strong>
</p>
<p>Darcy smiled softly when she opened her eyes and saw the writing on the wall. <em>Everything is fine.</em> She looked around and found herself in what appeared to be a waiting room, though she wasn’t sure what she was waiting for. The last thing she remembered was being at the grocery store, buying margarita mix and Pop-Tarts, then... nothing.</p>
<p>“Well, that’s concerning,” she said aloud to herself. </p>
<p>Mere seconds after the words left her mouth, a door opened and a pretty brunette popped her head out. “Darcy? Come on in, hon.”</p>
<p>The woman led her into an office, seating Darcy in front of a desk that the woman sat down at with a smile.</p>
<p>”Hi, Darcy. I’m Agatha.” She held her hand out to shake, which Darcy accepted hesitantly. </p>
<p>“Hi! Quick question — what’s going on?”</p>
<p>Agatha folded her hands together on the desk. “Right! You, Darcy Lewis, are dead.” She grimaced and tilted her head. “Sorry, babe.”</p>
<p>“I’m <em>what?”</em> This didn’t make sense. Darcy was only thirty-don’t-worry-about-it years old, she still had so much time left.</p>
<p>“You’re dead,” Agatha repeated. “Your life on earth is over and now you’re in the next phase of your existence in the universe! How fun is that?” </p>
<p>“Uh... very. Very fun. I do have a few quick q’s though.”</p>
<p>“Naturally.”</p>
<p>“How did I die? I can’t remember.”</p>
<p>Inhaling sharply, Agatha replied, “Ah. Well, it’s a bit embarrassing, so we wiped it from your memory — that’s the general protocol for traumatizing or embarrassing deaths — but I can describe it if you’d like.”</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay. Sure.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Agatha pulled out a file and flipped through it to the end. “Ah, here we go. You were at a grocery store buying, uh, margarita mix for one and four boxes of brown sugar cinnamon Pop-Tarts.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I like to buy in bulk.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then, while you were crossing the street, a crow flew into your head and knocked you over. Not sure how that happened.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I had an ear infection. Poor balance.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Then you were hit by a semi-truck with a vape advertisement on the side. Then the bird, uh, defecated on your dying body.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yikes. That’s… that’s not great.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Could be worse!”</span>
</p>
<p>“True. So… is this,” she mimed a thumbs up and a smile, “or…” then a thumbs down and a frown. </p>
<p>Agatha smiled. “It’s not exactly the heaven and hell you were raised to believe in, but there is a Good Place and a Bad Place.” “You, Darcy Lewis,” She paused for dramatic effect. “...are in The Good Place. Congratulations.”</p>
<p>Darcy exhaled the breath she had unintentionally been holding. “Thank god. Or- is god a thing? Wait, are you god? Holy shirt, I knew god was a woman. Apparently, she’s a hottie, too.”</p>
<p>Laughing, Agatha raised her hands to stop Darcy’s rambling. “Thanks, hon, but I’m definitely not god. No one is.”</p>
<p>“Ah. I knew that too.” Darcy nodded once, then her words caught up to her. </p>
<p>
  <em> Holy shirt? </em>
</p>
<p>“Shirt. Shirt. Fork. Bench.” Her eyes widened and met Agatha’s. “<em>No.</em>”</p>
<p>“Yes,” Agatha sighed sympathetically. “You can’t curse here. Some of the other residents don’t like it. If you ask me, I think it’s bullshirt, but what can you do?”</p>
<p>“Darn.”</p>
<p>“Oh! One more thing,” Agatha said. “Vision?” At her call, a red-skinned person — robot? — popped out of nowhere.</p>
<p>Darcy yelped. “What — who — how — huh?”</p>
<p>Agatha smiled and gestured at the being. “This is Vision.”</p>
<p>“Hello!” Vision said in an English accent.</p>
<p>“Uh... hi?” Darcy turned to Agatha. “What’s a Vision?”</p>
<p>“Vision is basically a walking database,” she explained. “You can ask him for anything and he’ll get it immediately, you can ask him any question and he’ll know the answer.”</p>
<p>“So, Alexa but better in every discernible way?”</p>
<p>“Sure! Vis, that’s all we needed. You can go.”</p>
<p>Vision disappeared and Agatha slipped out from behind her desk. “Well, the rest of the neighborhood is lovely. Ready to see it?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After a few minutes of touring the neighborhood, Agatha led her to her house, meant to perfectly represent Darcy’s ‘essence.’ When she saw the house, though, she figured something must be off because there is no universe in which Darcy’s essence is a beige one-bedroom. </p>
<p>“As you can see, it’s as minimalistic as possible, just like your home back on Earth!” Agatha said excitedly, opening the door to show an inside nearly as depressing as the outside. The living room consisted of nothing but a grey sectional with a matching armchair, a square glass coffee table, and a thin flatscreen TV.</p>
<p>“I… love it!” Darcy squeaked out. She hated it. So much. Her actual home back on earth was effectively a 700 square-foot blanket nest with books, plants, and pillows all over, closer to <em>maximalist</em> than anything else. This place couldn’t be more different. She perked up a bit when she saw a small bookshelf in the hallway past the living room, but noticed upon further inspection that it was mostly self-help. Darcy resented self-help books, she thought they were condescending — and wondered why one would even need self-help books in heaven — but according to Agatha, they were her favorite.</p>
<p>Even more than the decor or the books, something felt off.</p>
<p>Agatha led her back to the living room and turned on the TV. “Last but not least, my personal favorite part. Here, you can see all your memories from your life on Earth!” The screen switched to a video showing a crowd of well-dressed people from behind a podium.</p>
<p>“As I’m sure you remember, this is your speech at the charity event you threw for starving children in third-world countries.” Agatha put a hand on Darcy’s shoulder. “You donated <em>ninety-nine percent </em>of your wealth, five million dollars, to those children. That one really pushed you over the edge.”</p>
<p><em>Shit,</em> Darcy thought.<em> Shit, shit, shit.</em> She didn’t have five million dollars, she didn’t even have five thousand. She was a grad school dropout, not a damn philanthropist. </p>
<p>Darcy was not supposed to be here.</p>
<p>There was a knock on the door. “Oh!” Agatha exclaimed. “You’re going to love this. Literally.” She winked at Darcy and opened the door to a familiar face.</p>
<p>“This is your soulmate, Monica. Monica was a SWORD agent before she exposed their use of human experimentation for biological warfare, then did a full 180 and went into moral philosophy! Real versatile.” Agatha winked again, though Darcy wasn’t paying much attention to her.</p>
<p>“Holy shirt, Monica Rambeau? Darcy Lewis, big fan. The SWORD thing was so badass. You’re like a hot Edward Snowden.”</p>
<p>Monica smiled. “Uh, thanks! I think.”</p>
<p>Agatha clapped her hands together. “Wow! Small universe, huh? Monica, Darcy was a genius, astrophysicist, and philanthropist. I think you two are a match made in heaven. Pun intended!”</p>
<p>Darcy laughed nervously and began fidgeting her hands. “Yep, that’s me.”</p>
<p>“Well, I’ll let you two get to know each other,” Agatha said. No wink this time, but it was implied. She made her way outside and closed the door behind her, leaving them alone.</p>
<p>Monica was first to break the awkward silence.“Hi! So... astrophysics, huh?”</p>
<p>“Um. Not exactly.” </p>
<p>“Sorry, what do you mean?”</p>
<p>Darcy smiled uncomfortably. “Monica. Dear soulmate. You’re my soulmate, right?”</p>
<p>“Sure am,” she said, nodding slowly.</p>
<p>“So, hypothetically, if I were to tell you a big and important secret, you wouldn’t tell anyone else, right?”</p>
<p>“Not likely, no.”</p>
<p>Taking a deep breath, Darcy said, “Okay. So. I’m not supposed to be here.” Her right leg shook nervously as she waited for Monica’s response. </p>
<p>“You’re... what?” Her jaw dropped slightly. “What do you mean you’re not supposed to be here?”</p>
<p>”I mean somebody up here royally forked up. Not that I belong in hell or whatever, but I’m not an astrophysicist or any kind of rich do-gooder. Agatha did get the genius part right, but it’s not like I’m Jane Foster. I didn’t really do much with my big genius brain. I’m not Doctor Darcy Lewis, philanthropist, I’m almost-doctor Darcy Lewis, underpaid personal assistant.”</p>
<p>”Huh.”</p>
<p>“My thoughts exactly.”</p>
<p>“How are you here, then? Are you taking someone else’s place?”</p>
<p>That stung a bit. It was an understandable question, but it felt like Monica wanted to get rid of her. </p>
<p>“No, that’s the thing, I’m pretty sure they got the right identity, just not the right story. I am Darcy Lewis like Agatha said, and what are the chances that another Darcy Lewis died at the exact same time as me?” Darcy wasn’t sure how true this theory was, but she really hoped it was right. </p>
<p>“Huh,” Monica repeated.</p>
<p>Darcy took a breath. “So, I was wondering — well, you’re a smart philosophy person, right?”</p>
<p>“Sure?”</p>
<p>“Cool, cool. Perhaps... could you maybe help me be a better person and stuff? So I can stay?” She didn’t want to beg, but she knew Monica was probably her only chance. Darcy needed her.</p>
<p>Monica bit her lip nervously. “That’s a pretty big ask, Darcy.”</p>
<p>She didn’t want to beg, but she was not above it. “Pretty, pretty please? I don’t know what else to do.”</p>
<p>“I—“ she sighed. “Fine. Fine, I’ll help you.”</p>
<p>Darcy jumped up and pulled Monica into a hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you, you’re the best maybe-soulmate ever.”</p>
<p>Pulling back, Monica looked even more concerned. “Right. If you’re not meant to be here, we’re probably not soulmates.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” Darcy’s face fell. “I mean, we might be? I wouldn’t be mad about it.”</p>
<p>Smiling sadly, Monica nodded. “Maybe.” She looked out the window and said, “It’s getting kind of late. I should probably go home.”</p>
<p>She got up to leave, but Darcy stopped her. “Wait! Um, sorry, just — Agatha might get suspicious. If you only spend, like, ten minutes here.”</p>
<p>Monica slowly sat back down. “Ah. Okay, so am I sleeping here or what?”</p>
<p>“I guess so? If you’re cool with that.”</p>
<p>“I’ve had worse.” Monica smiled at her, and Darcy’s heart fluttered a little bit. </p>
<p>Darcy smiled back and began fidgeting again. “Uh, I have an abhorrently big bed, so we could maybe share if you want?”</p>
<p>Eyebrows raised, Monica stammered, “Oh— um, are you sure? I can go on the couch.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, that is the single stiffest couch I’ve ever sat on. I wouldn’t recommend spending the night there.”</p>
<p>Monica let out a small laugh. “Okay. Sure, we can share.”</p>
<p><em>These butterflies have no right to be in my stomach,</em> Darcy thought. </p>
<p>“Alright. Fair warning, every time I sleep next to someone, we tend to get all tangled up.”</p>
<p>She laughed again. “I think I can live with that.”</p>
<p>“Cool.” Darcy stood and put her hands on her hips. “Wow, death is exhausting. I’m gonna shower and knock out. You make yourself at home.”</p>
<p>“Okay. Will do.”</p>
<p>Darcy made her way to the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She turned on the shower and leaned over the sink counter with a small groan. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Even after death, she was still a U-Haul sapphic? <em> As if that’s the most important thing going on right now, </em> she thought. But Monica was so pretty, and cool, and way, <em> way </em>better than Edward Snowden.</p>
<p>Post-shower, Darcy asked Vision for new clothes to sleep in and entered the bedroom to see Monica already sound asleep. She smiled and crawled into bed a foot or two away from her and drifted off soon after.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Lovebirds</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>meeting the neighbors!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>big apologies for taking so long to update! I couldn't think of what to write and then I put down 1000 words in three days, but I'll be faster in the future, I promise &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Darcy awoke practically on top of Monica, their legs tangled together and her head resting on Monica’s shoulder. Monica was still sleeping soundly, so Darcy snuck out of bed quietly so as not to wake her up. She wandered into the kitchen for breakfast, only to find little more than herbal tea and whole wheat bread.</p>
<p>“Does fake Darcy not eat?” she wondered aloud. “Uh, robot guy? Vis...taril? Mr. Robot?”</p>
<p>“I love that show.” Darcy jumped when she heard the voice. She turned to see Monica rubbing her eyes and yawning. “Vision?” The red robot guy appeared like he had the day before.</p>
<p>“Vision was my next guess,” Darcy muttered.</p>
<p>“Mhm.” Monica smiled and shook her head. “What did you need Vision for?”</p>
<p>“Oh!” She turned to Vision. “Um, why do I only have two things in this kitchen, and neither of them is coffee?”</p>
<p>The inexplicably British computer-man immediately replied, “According to your file, you do not drink coffee, so there was no need to supply it in your home. I can get you coffee though, would you like some?”</p>
<p>Darcy’s mouth opened and closed a few times in thought, then she groaned. “No, that’s okay. Thanks, dude, you can go,” she told him with a small wave. </p>
<p>“Trying to keep up the cover?” Monica asked, leaning back against a counter. </p>
<p>“Yeah. God, fake Darcy is going to be the death of me.”</p>
<p>“You’re already-“</p>
<p>“Already dead, I know.”</p>
<p> They both smiled softly before hearing an excited knocking coming from outside. “Hey ladies!” It was Agatha, shouting through the door. “Just here to let you know there’s a small get-together tonight just down the way at your neighbor Wanda’s house!” Not responding, Monica and Darcy shared a concerned look. “It’s the most adorable little cottage with a lovely yard, you can’t miss it. Look for the roses!” The pair remained silent, and Agatha continued, “Well, I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone,” — Darcy could practically hear her wink — “But I can’t wait to see you there! Six o’clock, don’t be late!” Finally, they heard Agatha's heels click away and both let out sighs once they were sure she was gone.</p>
<p>Darcy loved parties, but she wasn't sure if her file would agree, and getting to know the neighbors may not be the best idea just yet. On the other hand, it could seem more suspicious to stay home, especially since they were apparently expected to come. And of course, there was the Monica of it all. Agatha clearly thought that the two were already <em>involved </em>in one way or another, and Darcy couldn’t come up with a reasonable explanation for why they wouldn’t be.</p>
<p>As if reading Darcy’s mind, Monica cleared her throat and said nervously, “I think we might have to, you know, like, pretend to date? Or whatever?”</p>
<p>“Ah.” Darcy tried to keep her cool, hiding the fact that she was freaking the hell out, actually. She’d seen movies — fake dating <em>always </em>leads to real dating. Did Monica know this? Had Monica seen movies? Was it intentional? Thoughts still swirling around her head, Darcy responded just as nervously, “That’s an idea. A good idea. An idea we should do.”</p>
<p>Nodding slowly, Monica responded, “Okay. Cool. What, uh, what would the logistics of that be, exactly? How far do we take it and stuff? Like, going out? Living together?” </p>
<p>This was getting very real, very quickly. Sure, Darcy had always wanted to fake-date someone as if her life was a sitcom, but she was a terrible liar. It was hard enough pretending to be a rich astrophysicist, now she had to pretend to like the girl she liked while pretending not to like her like that? Still, figuring she was already in the thick of it, she took the plunge. “All of the above? Agatha’s the single nosiest person I’ve ever met, and she seems to be overwhelmingly supportive of, you know, us. So if we’re really going to pull this off, we have to make it convincing.”</p>
<p>“Okay.” Monica took a deep breath. “Okay. I assume we’re going to the party tonight and acting all couple-y, right? Then we come back here when we've done enough socializing? Your place is bigger than mine.”</p>
<p>“Works for me,” Darcy said with a shrug.</p>
<p>“Right. Good. Anything else?” Monica asked.</p>
<p>“One more thing.”</p>
<p>“What’s that?”</p>
<p>“You can’t fall in love with me.”</p>
<p>Monica rolled her eyes, smiling. “I’ll do my best.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That evening, just after six, Darcy and Monica made their way to the house Agatha had referenced that morning. As they reached the rose-adorned porch, Darcy paused to take a few deep breaths when she felt Monica take her shaky hand and squeeze it gently. She glanced over her shoulder to smile at the woman, then raised her free hand to knock on the red door in front of them, not letting go of Monica. </p>
<p>A small red-haired woman opened the door and grinned excitedly. “You two must be Darcy and Monica! I’m Wanda, your neighbor.” She stepped aside and waved them in. “Come in, make yourselves at home!” Darcy looked around, seeing a few familiar faces from around the neighborhood mingled with even more new ones. She spotted a visibly nervous man standing in the corner of the room, probably attempting to hide. Wanda followed her gaze and quickly waved him over. “Joseph! Come, meet the neighbors.”</p>
<p>He grimaced slightly and walked over to the group with an uncomfortable smile. Wanda put a hand on his shoulder. “Darcy and Monica, this is Joseph, my soulmate. Joseph, this is Darcy, and this is Monica.” When she said Monica’s name, his eyes widened for a second before he held out his left hand for Darcy to shake, then his right for Monica. It was sweaty and shaky, he was even more nervous than Darcy. Either he was just incredibly anxious, or something was up with this guy — possibly the same way something was up with Darcy. Or maybe he just hated parties.</p>
<p>She decided to file her suspicions away for later — until she saw the perplexed look on Monica’s face. Turning to Wanda, Darcy asked, “Nice to meet you guys! But could you excuse us for just a moment? Thanks.” She dragged Monica to the corner that Joseph had just left. “Hey, what’s going on? Do you know him?”</p>
<p>Monica looked from Joseph and Wanda back to Darcy. “Yeah, I know him. But his name isn’t Joseph, it’s <em> Jimmy.</em>”</p>
<p>“Oh shirt. Maybe it’s a middle name? Or something? That doesn’t really make sense, but still.”</p>
<p>“Last time I checked, there’s no Joseph in James E. Woo.” She lowered her voice further. “But either way, he’s definitely not her soulmate. Jimmy’s gay.”</p>
<p>“So his type is more Cosmo than Wanda.”</p>
<p>Monica snorted softly. “Right.”</p>
<p>“Fork.” Something <em>was </em>up. “You think he’s like me? Not supposed to be here?”</p>
<p>“I mean… he was a nice guy, but he made some very questionable decisions. And it sounds like they got the wrong guy entirely, so probably, yeah,” Monica said with a sigh. “But you at least fit the name, I think Jimmy might be taking someone else’s spot if that’s even a thing.”</p>
<p>“Wow, Agatha is bad at her job,” Darcy whispered. She looked up at Jimmy and Wanda standing uncomfortably. Jimmy was sneaking glances at her and Monica and averted his gaze down to the floor when he realized he’d been caught watching them. “And Jimmy knows it.”</p>
<p>“He wouldn’t even make eye contact with me,” Monica said. “I knew him pretty well, he isn’t usually this squirrelly.”</p>
<p>“And Wanda doesn’t seem to know what’s going on with him.” Darcy watched as Wanda smiled at guests with the occasional concerned look at Jimmy.</p>
<p>“So he’s alone in this.”</p>
<p>Darcy’s eyes shot back to Monica. “We should talk to him.” </p>
<p>Eyebrows hiking up, Monica asked, “Talk to him as in telling him?”</p>
<p>“Exactly. He needs help and, Monica, wouldn’t it be <em> immoral </em> to not help him when we could?”</p>
<p>“You’re right. Fork, okay.” She let out a sigh. “How do we do this?”</p>
<p>Darcy just grabbed Monica’s hand again and pulled her over to Wanda and Jimmy. “Hey, Ji — Joseph! Would you wanna show us around the place?”</p>
<p>He stammered, “Uh, I mean, okay. Sure.” He composed himself and smiled nervously at Wanda before pointing the pair to the kitchen. </p>
<p>When they reached the other room, Darcy immediately stopped Jimmy in his tracks. “You’re not supposed to be here.”</p>
<p>“What? That’s ridiculous, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he sputtered. </p>
<p>Monica laid a hand on his shoulder. “Jimmy. I know it’s you.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, we won’t tell,” Darcy added. She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Because I’m not supposed to be here either.”</p>
<p>Jimmy’s jaw dropped slightly. He turned toward the back door and gestured for them to follow. They made their way out to the spacious and flowery backyard where only a few people lingered and once Jimmy seemed satisfied that no one could hear them, he began to speak again. “Look, I don’t know what’s going on, everyone keeps calling me Joseph and apparently I was a Sunday school teacher, which is just <em> so </em> off, I was a darn FBI agent, and —”</p>
<p>“Okay, okay, slow down,” Monica said, interrupting his rambling. “We don’t know what’s going on either, but our best bet is that something got mixed up and you and Darcy are here on accident.”</p>
<p>He sighed dejectedly. “Yeah, I figured I wasn’t exactly Good Place material. The FBI kind of sucks.”</p>
<p>“You’re not wrong,” Darcy added, making Monica laugh under her breath, which, in turn, made Darcy smile. </p>
<p>Jimmy looked between them. “Wait, so, are you guys actually soulmates, or is it a mix-up like me?”</p>
<p>“Not sure,” said Darcy, though she knew the answer was most likely a no. </p>
<p>“It’s not really important right now though,” Monica added. When Darcy and Jimmy looked at her, she continued hastily, “I mean, there are more crucial things to focus on. Such as how to prevent the pair of you from going to hell.”</p>
<p>“Oh right!” Darcy said, turning back to Jimmy. “About that. We can help you. Not spend eternity in the Bad Place.”</p>
<p>“How bad can it really be, though?” asked Jimmy.</p>
<p>Monica and Darcy shared a knowing look. “That’s what I said. Eyesight?” </p>
<p>“Vision,” Monica corrected, and Darcy giggled as he appeared. </p>
<p>“V, what’s going on in the Bad Place right now?” Darcy asked.</p>
<p>With a polite smile, he replied, “All I can do is play a short audio clip. Would you like to hear that?”</p>
<p>“Yes please!”</p>
<p>Monica turned to Jimmy. “You might want to cover your ears for this.”</p>
<p>“What?” </p>
<p>When the clip played, all three of them flinched. Amongst the shrieks and appropriately hellish sound of babies crying, there were a few audible voices.</p>
<p>
  <em> THE BEAR IS RABID AND IT HAS A CHAINSAW NOW! SOMEBODY HELP! </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> PLEASE LET GO OF MY LEGS! </em>
  <br/>
  <em><br/>OH GOD, THERE ARE SPIDERS ON MY EYEBALLS!</em>
</p>
<p>The noise stopped abruptly and Jimmy cleared his throat. “Well. Not great, then.”</p>
<p>Darcy snorted. “Yeah, we heard it earlier today and it doesn’t really get better. It’s hell, my guy.”</p>
<p>“So you’ll help me? How?”</p>
<p>“You know how I got all into moral philosophy after realizing that my life goal and my mother’s legacy had turned into experimenting on and sometimes killing people?” Monica said nonchalantly.</p>
<p>“I am aware, yes,” said Jimmy.</p>
<p>“Well, Monica and I figured that if the two of us can become good enough people through learning philosophy stuff, maybe we can stay,” Darcy explained. “It makes sense to me, so it must be true.”</p>
<p>They all smiled at Darcy’s half-joke. “Okay, I’m in,” Jimmy said. “So what are we doing? Is it like school for being a better person?”</p>
<p>Darcy made a face and Monica sighed. “It’s not <em> not </em> school, but… maybe don’t call it that. Just come to Darcy’s place at ten a.m. tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“It’s the boring one like twenty yards away,” Darcy added.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Around eleven, after hours of small talk with neighbors and catching up with Jimmy, Darcy and Monica returned home. Darcy attempted to flop down onto the couch but immediately regretted it upon landing and remembering how stiff it was. </p>
<p>“V-Dog?” To her surprise, Vision actually responded to that. </p>
<p>“Yes, Darcy?”</p>
<p>“Can Agatha or anyone see what we ask you for? Is there a search history?” Darcy asked.</p>
<p>“No, I am the only one that can access that information. Now, what kind of pornography would you like to see?” Vision stated, polite as ever.</p>
<p>Monica, who had been leaning against the door with her eyes closed, let out a loud laugh.</p>
<p>Giggling, Darcy corrected him, “No, no, I — I was just wondering if you could replace this couch with one that looked exactly like it except more comfortable?”</p>
<p>“Of course.” </p>
<p>Suddenly, Darcy was sinking into a significantly softer couch, though it appeared the same. “Thanks, V-man. You’re the best.”</p>
<p>When Vision disappeared, Monica walked over to Darcy and sat next to her. “Would it kill you to call him Vision?”</p>
<p>Darcy turned her head and pasted a serious look on her face. “Yes. Yes, it would.” </p>
<p>After a moment of staring at each other, they both burst out into laughter. Darcy sighed and rested her head on Monica’s shoulder. “I think today went pretty well, all things considered.”</p>
<p>Monica leaned back and closed her eyes. “Hopefully, tomorrow will too.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>spoilers: tomorrow will not go very well</p>
<p>thank you for reading! kudos &amp; comments are restitution to my long-suffering and melodramatic soul</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Speak of the Devil</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>conversations are had and secrets are spilled and there's kind of a lot going on</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>remember when i said this update would be faster? that turned out to be kind of a lie because my writing process is chaotic, but this fic will be abandoned over my dead body :) enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Welcome to our humble abode,” Monica said, stepping away from the open door to let Jimmy inside.</p><p>“Our <em>very </em>humble abode,” Darcy added, trying not to freak out about Monica calling it <em>their </em>humble abode like they lived together for real. It had barely been two days, perhaps Monica was also a U-Haul sapphic. Darcy hated to get ahead of herself this time — although she always did — but could she really be blamed? She was literally in heaven, living with and quasi-dating the coolest person in the universe. The tiny complication of not technically belonging there was just semantics, no big deal, nothing she couldn’t handle —</p><p>“Darcy? Hey, Darcy, you there?” Monica’s voice startled her and she realized she’d been spacing out.</p><p>“Oh! Good morning. Sorry, I missed all of that,” Darcy said, waving her hands around. “Repeat, please!”</p><p>“Glad to have you back. I was saying that we should try to figure out the actual logistics of what’s going on, I know you have some theories,” Monica gestured to Darcy, who clasped her hands together with a nod.</p><p>“Indeed I do!”</p><p>“Share with the class?” Jimmy asked.</p><p>“Right,” Darcy said, looking around the room. “Fork, okay, I need to write this down.”</p><p>Monica called for Vision and he arrived. “Vision, could you get us a whiteboard? With markers?”</p><p>The items appeared and, Jimmy quickly added, “For, uh… Pictionary! That’s all. Nothing to write home about.”</p><p>Smiling blankly, Vision responded. “Okay. Anything else?”</p><p>“Oh! Venison!” Darcy piped up. “I could really use one of those spinny chairs. Can you get me a spinny chair?” On cue, a chair appeared, matching the monochrome color scheme around them. “Thanks a bunch.” She plopped into it and happily rolled the chair in the direction of the board. </p><p>Jimmy carefully sat on the couch and Monica remained standing while Darcy popped the cap off a marker and began writing. After a minute or so, she rolled back and turned to face the others. The board had two bullet-point lists, one for Darcy and one for Jimmy, reading:</p><p>
  <b>Darcy:</b>
</p><ul>
<li>Right name</li>
<li>The death tracks</li>
<li>Wrong everything else</li>
<li>Not the heaven type</li>
</ul><p> </p><p>
  <b>Jimmy:</b>
</p><ul>
<li>Wrong name</li>
<li>Wrong death</li>
<li>Wrong everything</li>
<li>Probably didn’t make the cut :(</li>
</ul><p> </p><p>Cracking her fingers, Darcy began to explain. “Okay, so essentially, I figure that I’m the right person, but Agatha’s got the wrong life story. In hindsight, I’ve been kind of an ashhole for approximately ever, not to mention the <em>several</em> incidents in which I...” she sighed, “tried to convince my friends to start an EDM band.“ Jimmy winced and Monica rolled her eyes. ”It was a rough patch. And after last night, I’m pretty sure I’m more cut out for a Medium Place type deal. The odds of someone else named Darcy Lewis dying at the exact same time as me are practically nonexistent, so I doubt I’m taking anyone’s place.” She sighed and pointed at Jimmy’s list. “Agent Woo, however, is a slightly different story. They got literally everything wrong, like, everything. Name, life, death — and Wanda is not your soulmate, that’s for sure. So…” Darcy sighed. “I think you might be taking up someone’s place. Maybe. But you don’t deserve the Bad Place. I really don’t know where to go from here.”</p><p>Monica let out a deep breath. “Agatha is not good at this job.”</p><p>The group sat quietly for a moment until they heard a sharp knock and a familiar sing-song voice. “Hey ladies!”</p><p>“Oh god,” Jimmy whispered.</p><p>“Speak of the devil and she shall appear,” Darcy muttered, rolling awkwardly towards the door with Monica following closeby. Standing up, Darcy pasted on a smile and cracked the door about a foot open. “Hi, Agatha! Did you need something?”</p><p>Agatha took a step forward, trying to peek inside, but Monica stood in her line of sight, blocking any signs of their guest or what they had been doing. “Oh, I was just in the neighborhood and wanted to check up on you guys, see how you were feeling!” She looked antsy and uncomfortable like something was wrong.</p><p>“We’re okay. Are you?” Darcy said, against her better judgment.</p><p>Putting her hands on her hips and laughing nervously, Agatha replied, “Me? I’m fine! Never been better. There are just a few little, you know, hiccups. But don’t worry about it!”</p><p>“What kind of hiccups?” Monica asked.</p><p>“Just,” Agatha leaned in, “You can’t say anything, but I trust you two, so I’ll spill.”</p><p>“Tell us what?” Darcy was getting impatient.</p><p>“Can I come in?” Before they could respond, Agatha was pushing the door open and making herself at home. Darcy and Monica turned around to see the living room empty of any Jimmies and whiteboards. </p><p><em> God bless Jimmy Woo, </em> Darcy thought. She sat back into her chair and closed the door with her foot before going over to the couch where Agatha was now sitting. Rolling back and forth, she asked again, “What’s going on?”</p><p>Agatha sighed dramatically and lowered her voice. “I think someone here is in the wrong place.” </p><p>Darcy’s eyes widened and she turned to Monica. <em>We’ve been got.</em> Monica cleared her throat and spoke because Darcy couldn’t. “What do you mean ‘the wrong place?’”</p><p>”I mean somebody in the Good Place is supposed to be in the Bad Place.” Agatha dropped her head in her hands. “But I’m not quite sure who. And I don’t know what to do about it.”</p><p>Darcy wanted to ask for clarification, but before she could speak, a soft knocking began at the door. Monica and her exchanged frustrated looks. “When you’re popular...” Darcy said as Monica looked through the peephole to see who was outside. </p><p>“It’s Wanda,” she said, and opened the door, Darcy quickly scooting up beside her. “Hey, Wanda, what brings you by?”</p><p>“Hi! Um, I was just wondering if Joseph was here? I know the three of you hit it off last night and now I have no idea where he is. Have either of you seen him?”</p><p>Just as Darcy opened her mouth to deny it, Jimmy strolled in from the kitchen and announced, “Yes, they have!”</p><p>Agatha turned to face him. “Joseph’s here? Why didn’t you girls tell me you had a visitor?”</p><p>Starting to roll her chair back and forth again, Darcy stammered, “It, uh, just didn’t come up?”</p><p>”Oh. Well, I hate to intrude,” Agatha said, though she didn’t move from her seat on the couch. </p><p>Darcy’s jaw clenched in irritation and Monica put a comforting hand on her shoulder. “It’s no problem,” she told Agatha, though Darcy vehemently disagreed with that sentiment. There were far too many people in the small space, not to mention that Agatha suspected something and they needed a game plan.</p><p>“Darcy? Could I come in? It’s rather cold outside,” Wanda said, interrupting Darcy’s train of thought, but she waved her in regardless.</p><p>Wanda’s words had clearly gotten to Agatha. “Cold? Why is it -- it shouldn’t -- oh boy.” Monica, Darcy, and Jimmy exchanged concerned looks, all understanding the reason for the weather change.</p><p>“What’s wrong?” Wanda asked, being the only one out of the loop.</p><p>Agatha clenched her hands together nervously. “Oh, nothing, just that I could’ve sworn this neighborhood was set to seventy-five… I’m sure it’s fine! But I’ve got to go. For unrelated reasons.” She hurried out, shouting a goodbye to them as she shut the door behind her, leaving the trio with a confused Wanda.</p><p>“Do you guys know what’s going on?” she asked.</p><p>“Can’t say I do.”</p><p>“Going on with what?”</p><p>“It’s not even cold!”</p><p>Slowly stepping forward to the center of the room, Wanda’s face grew concerned. “It’s definitely cold. And I’m assuming you three,” she pointed between them, “know something I don’t. Explain.”</p><p>Monica and Darcy looked at each other, attempting to communicate wordlessly. After a minute, they gave each other a slight nod, and Jimmy, though a bit confused, nodded with them. Darcy snapped her fingers. “Okay. Sure. But you have to promise you won’t tell a soul. Living or dead. It cannot leave the four of us.”</p><p>“I promise.”</p><p>Taking one of Darcy’s shaky hands in her own, Monica began to explain. “Darcy and Jimmy — Joseph, as you know him — aren’t exactly… in the right place.”</p><p>Wanda’s jaw dropped a bit. “Jimmy? Wh- are you saying what you think you’re saying?”</p><p>“That really depends on what you think we’re saying,” Jimmy replied.</p><p>“I think you’re saying that Darcy and Joseph — Jimmy, I guess — belong in the Bad Place.</p><p>Darcy grimaced. “I don’t love that wording, but yeah, pretty much.”</p><p>“So I take it we’re not soulmates, then?” Wanda said, turning to Jimmy.</p><p>He snorted. “No. No, we are not.”</p><p>“Well. I wasn’t particularly into you either, but there’s really no need to be rude.”</p><p>“Trust me, it’s not you. I’m just very gay,” he clarified.</p><p>“Oh. Okay, that makes a lot more sense now.” She shrugged. “I think Agatha might have been flirting with me at the party, so I’ll live.”</p><p>Despite the anxiety she had been feeling just a moment earlier, Darcy started to crack up. “No,” she said between giggles. “You will not <em>live.</em>” </p><p>Monica sighed beside her but still wore a small smile. “Wanda, you’re taking this all in stride.”</p><p>“I’ve seen a lot of weird shirt in my life,” Wanda said, not expanding and clearly not wanting to. “But I am a bit confused. Darcy, is your name actually Darcy?”</p><p>“Oh, yeah, I’m one hundred percent bonafide Darcy Lewis. Jimmy and I are in slightly different situations — Jimmy, get the whiteboard.”</p><p> </p><p>An hour or so later, after a fair bit of explanation and several swears to keep the secret, along with a few not so subtle threats from Darcy, Jimmy and Wanda left. Darcy had tried her hardest to focus on the priority at hand, but ever since the party, she couldn't get the topic of soulmates out of her head. If Jimmy wasn't soulmates with Wanda, Darcy and Monica probably weren't meant to be either. This wasn't exactly a surprise, but it was disheartening. She liked Monica. She really, really, liked Monica, and naturally, she wanted Monica to like her.</p><p>“So… we’re not soulmates, right?” Monica’s mind was apparently on the same track as Darcy’s.</p><p>“I assume not,” Darcy said simply, feeling her heart sink at hearing it aloud.</p><p>“Ah. Okay, then.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>They were quiet for a minute, then Darcy stood up. “I didn’t sleep much last night, I’m going to go take a nap.”</p><p>“Alright.”</p><p>“Maybe you can watch some of fake Darcy’s memories,” she said in a joking tone. “Who knows, maybe she’s your real soulmate!” As soon as they came out of her mouth, Darcy processed her words and immediately turned to go to the bedroom, not hearing Monica’s response. She flopped down on the bed and groaned into her pillow. Why, why, <em>why</em> would she say that?</p><p> </p><p>***</p><p> </p><p>When Darcy woke up a few hours later, it was to shrieks and a poor excuse for music coming. She jumped out of bed and ran back into the living room to see an orange and white polka dot-clad Monica.</p><p>“Oh god, what the fork are you wearing?” </p><p>“What the fork is that music?” </p><p>Darcy tuned into the noise and realized what she was wearing. “That’s not music. That’s EDM.” She could see the gears in Monica’s head turning, probably thinking the same thing as Darcy. “This is about me. Me and my godforsaken EDM band.”</p><p>She ran to the window and peeked through the curtains to see pure, unadulterated chaos. Specifically, Darcy-centric chaos. Club music, spinny chairs, whiteboards, Pop-Tarts, a U-Haul truck, one screaming man with the head of Edward Snowden, and every single person dressed in orange and white polka dots. Every single person with the notable exception of Darcy, who happened to be wearing an orange and white CalTech t-shirt. This wasn’t good. </p><p>Pulling the curtains closed, she spun to face Monica. “What do we do?”</p><p>Monica looked nearly as nervous as Darcy felt. “Oh, shirt. Okay, Vision?” Vision appeared on cue as usual. “Can you get Darcy clothes like mine and everyone else’s? With the dots?” </p><p>He pulled the requested clothing out of thin air and handed it to Darcy. “Here you go.”</p><p>“Thanks, Varnish. You’re the best red robot guy I know,” Darcy said before running back to the bedroom and changing as quickly as possible.</p><p>“Okay, okay, it’s gonna be okay,” she whispered to herself. “You’re fine! It’s fine. Just a hiccup, just a little hiccup, like Agatha said.”</p><p>For the second time that day, as if on cue, Agatha knocked at the door, more frantically this time. “Monica? Darcy? Are you guys in there? Please be in there!” Monica opened it just as Darcy left the bedroom. Agatha spotted them both and sighed in relief. “Oh, thank god!”</p><p>“What’s going on?” Monica asked, though she more than likely knew what was going on.</p><p>Agatha laughed nervously. “Remember what I said about hiccups? This is a hiccup. A very large and loud hiccup.”</p><p>Nodding, Monica replied, “Clearly. Do you know why it’s happening?”</p><p>“Like I said, someone’s not supposed to be here, and this whole thing is not helping me figure out who! Wow, this is bad. Darcy! Baby, how are you?”</p><p>“I’ve been better, Agatha.” That was an understatement. How was she? Her heart was practically beating out of her chest, her hands were sweaty, and the thought of going outside was sensory overload enough, actually doing it was out of the question.</p><p>“Come outside, we’re all meeting at Wanda’s for a headcount.”</p><p>Perfect.</p><p>
  <span>Agatha turned to walk away, expecting the pair to follow her, and Monica laid a hand on Darcy’s shoulder, sensing her anxiety. “Hey. It’s going to be okay. I won’t let you get caught,” she whispered. Darcy took a few deep breaths and nodded, then they left to Agatha.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>On the short walk to Wanda’s house, Monica had held Darcy’s hand, comforting her as they ducked chairs and Pop-Tarts. Even when they got to Wanda’s, Monica didn’t let go and Darcy couldn’t find the words to express how much that meant. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>a friend told me i should put wagatha in this, so i put wagatha in this! there'll be more in the next chapters, i promise</p><p>i'm starting to run out of nicknames for vision so if you guys can think of any, please let me know :) comment other stuff also and i'll be your best friend because comments make me happy</p><p>ps: neurodivergent friends, can you tell i'm projecting my stims onto darcy? because i totally am. i love my spinny chair.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. I Care</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>*in stefon voice* written in a week by a lesbian with a headache, this chapter has EVERYTHING: plot, fluff, angst, and look who just walked in — a cameo that i won't spoil!</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i wrote three other fics while not updating this one because there are so many thoughts in my brain and i needed to put them somewhere but i'm back, baby! enjoy the chapter xoxo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The meeting was a complete disaster. Agatha had become even more determined to get to the bottom of the situation, which was as inconvenient as it was predictable. </p>
<p>Darcy still wasn’t entirely sure whether Wanda was trustworthy, especially after seeing the way she was cozying up to Agatha. But Jimmy trusted her, Monica trusted Jimmy, and Darcy trusted Monica’s judgment. Still, they had rejected Jimmy’s offer to talk about it and decided to go home alone with the excuse of trying to avoid suspicion from Agatha because Darcy just <em>had </em>to get out of there.</p>
<p>The second they slipped through the front door, Darcy slammed it closed, flinching at the noise, and slid down to the floor, head in her hands.</p>
<p>Monica crouched beside her. “Hey. It’s going to be okay.”</p>
<p>Darcy lifted her head to look at Monica. “You don’t know that.” Her voice broke. “You don’t know what’s going to happen to me.”</p>
<p>Sighing, Monica sat fully on the ground. “You’re right,” she said with a shrug. “I don’t know. But neither do you. No one does, so we have to at least try, right? If we don’t at least do that, then… well, you’re totally forked. To put it bluntly.”</p>
<p>Darcy was terrified, more so than she ever had been. It hadn’t hit until that moment, the realization that she was the problem in a place where everything was supposed to be perfect. Her entire life, Darcy had been just this side of adequate, giving the impression of being smart, but not practical or hardworking. She knew who she was, there was no need to prove it to anyone else, so she never bothered to consider her effect on the world around her. Now she was in a new world, one that she could very clearly see her effect on, and it was absolutely terrifying. She was the problem, and Darcy knew she was the solution too. Her leaving would fix everything, but she was too selfish to go through with it. </p>
<p>Being around Monica, though, made Darcy want to be a better person.</p>
<p>“It’s all my fault,” Darcy said, looking back down at the floor. “It’s my fault everything is going so wrong. It’s my fault that guy looks like Edward Snowden, it’s my fault Wanda got hit in the head with a Pop-Tart the size of forking Uruguay, and it’s my fault you don’t have your soulmate.” She nearly broke out into sobs as she continued, “So, I need to leave. I need to go to the Bad Place and let everyone here be happy and heavenly and all that. Because I’m the problem. And that means I’m the solution. Get it? I need to turn myself in. I'll go to the Bad Place.”</p>
<p>Darcy dared a glance at Monica and saw that she was tearing up. “You’re kidding, right? You’re not serious.” She sniffed and a tear slipped down her cheek. “I’m in this, Darcy. I’m not just going to let you give up and run away after one thing goes wrong.”</p>
<p>“That was a whole lot more than just one thing!” Darcy cried and stood up.</p>
<p>“Whatever!” Monica retorted, also standing and throwing her hands up. “Look, you can’t blame yourself for something you didn’t ask for. This isn’t on you.”</p>
<p>“Even if I didn’t ask for it, it’s still my problem,” Darcy said, wrapping her arms around herself. “And why do you care anyway?”</p>
<p>“What the hell do you mean, ‘why do I care?’” Monica said in a borderline shout. “I care because I care about you, Darcy! I care because I know you don’t deserve to suffer for eternity and I — I care because I don’t want to lose you, okay?”</p>
<p>They stood in silence, tears slipping down Darcy’s cheeks before Monica spoke again. </p>
<p>“Also, leaving wouldn’t fix anything unless you brought Jimmy with you. So... that’s not helpful information, is it?”</p>
<p>Darcy didn’t respond, just walked out in a zombie-like trance, heading to the bedroom. When the door clicked shut behind her, she collapsed on the bed and began sobbing into a pillow.</p>
<p>Monica cared. Darcy knew she cared, but not like this. She felt like a nuisance, a burden, and was just now realizing that Monica really did want her there. That was hard to process. She’d never been truly wanted in her life, and of course, it was only after her death that someone thought she mattered enough to stop her from leaving. There had never been someone like Monica, who brought her away from the ledge, who seemed to care unconditionally. </p>
<p>And Darcy just messed it all up. Typical.</p>
<p>She cried until she couldn’t cry anymore, eventually drifting into sleep for the second time that day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Darcy woke up later that night, around nine, the first thing she did was change out of that ridiculous outfit and into something more comfortable, then went over to the bathroom connected to the bedroom and stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her face was tired and tearstained. After splashing some water on it and attempting to calm herself down, she left the bedroom area.</p>
<p>She found Monica curled up on the couch with a book, though she didn’t seem to be reading it as she had yet to get past the first page. </p>
<p>“Monica?” she said softly.</p>
<p>Monica closed the book and looked over her shoulder. “Hey, Darcy.”</p>
<p>“I, um,” she cleared her throat, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry. For yelling, for threatening to leave, et cetera. You don’t deserve that. I was out of line.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay. I get it,” Monica said with a sigh. “I’m not.”</p>
<p>“You’re not what?”</p>
<p>“Sorry. I stand by what I said.”</p>
<p>Darcy looked down at her fidgeting hands and pondered that for a moment. Monica meant it. She wasn’t just being dramatic in the heat of the moment, she really did care that much.</p>
<p>Smiling, Darcy glanced back up at her. “That’s good. That’s really good to hear.”</p>
<p>Monica smiled and nodded at the space on the couch beside her. “Wanna watch a movie?”</p>
<p>With a grin, Darcy settled next to Monica and grabbed the remote. “I’d love to.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next morning was almost suspiciously peaceful. Darcy, having slept plenty the day before, woke up somewhat early to find a sleeping Monica wrapped tightly around her. This time, unlike the similar incident from a few mornings prior, Darcy didn’t leave, staying in Monica’s comforting embrace. </p>
<p>When Monica did wake up a while later, her reaction was about the same. “Good morning,” she murmured into Darcy’s hair, her voice a bit raspy from sleep.</p>
<p>murmured into Darcy’s hair, her voice a bit raspy from sleep.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Darcy responded. “Do you know what time it is?”</p>
<p>“No. Do you?”</p>
<p>“Nope.”</p>
<p>“We should probably figure that out.”</p>
<p>“Probably.”</p>
<p>“Get up, check the time, eat breakfast.”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>Neither of them moved.</p>
<p>“Maybe later,” Monica said, and Darcy smiled to herself.</p>
<p>“I can wait.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After half an hour of semi-conscious cuddling, Darcy heard the all too familiar sound of heels clicking on the pavement. Of course, the peace of that morning was just too good to be true.</p>
<p>“Oh god,” she whispered.</p>
<p>“What’s up?” Monica muttered.</p>
<p>“It’s Agatha. She’s here,” Darcy said, her words promptly followed by knocking and Agatha’s sing-song voice.</p>
<p>“Hey, ladies!” she called. </p>
<p>“Do you think if we just stay quiet, she’ll go away?” Monica said with a groan.</p>
<p>“Yoo-hoo! I know you’re in there!” Her tone was sweet, but the words bordered on threatening.</p>
<p>Darcy shoved her face into a pillow. “Doubtful.”</p>
<p>Monica groaned again, louder this time, and rolled out of bed, followed by Darcy. They went to the door and Darcy opened it. “Good morning, Agatha.”</p>
<p>“Hey hon, how ya feeling?” Agatha said with a sympathetic smile. “I know yesterday was tough on you.”</p>
<p>Darcy forced a smile. “Yeah. That’s a bit of an understatement. But I’m all good now.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m so glad.” She turned to Monica. “Mon, how are you?”</p>
<p>Darcy and Monica glanced at each other, Monica making a face at the nickname. “Uhh, I’m fine.”</p>
<p>“That’s good.” She then sighed dramatically and leaned against the doorframe. “I, for one, am not!”</p>
<p><em> Too good to be fucking true, </em>Darcy thought. Closing her eyes in exasperation, she responded, “Why is that?”</p>
<p>Agatha pushed past them and settled on the couch. “Because, Darcy, the neighborhood is falling apart!”</p>
<p>At that, everything Darcy had thought the night before came rushing back. It was falling apart, and it was her fault. Jimmy’s too, but it was different. Agatha trusted her, and she was lying. The strangest part, though, was that Darcy actually cared. She was a world-class liar, and damn proud of it. At least, she was proud of it on Earth, but it mattered to her now and she wasn’t sure why. </p>
<p>Closing the door, Darcy and Monica looked at each other nervously. Monica sat next to Agatha and asked, “How so?”</p>
<p>Agatha threw her hands into her lap and sighed again before saying, “Promise you two won’t tell anyone? Not even Joseph?”</p>
<p>“Promise,” they said in unison, making them both smile.</p>
<p>“Okay.” Agatha gestured Darcy over to the couch, and when she sat down, whispered, “The weather’s acting funky, Vision’s broken, and there’s a darn <em> sinkhole </em> opening up by the river! Fortunately, no one seems to have noticed yet but,” she grabbed Darcy by the arm, “everything is a wreck!”</p>
<p>“There’s a sinkhole?”</p>
<p>“Holy shirt, Voldemort’s broken?”</p>
<p>“Yeah!” Agatha exclaimed. “Also the weather!”</p>
<p>“Fork, fork, fork,” Darcy whispered, biting her thumb. “This isn’t good.” She was talking more to herself than to Agatha, but still got a response.</p>
<p>“No kidding, hot stuff! Oh, sorry, Monica.”</p>
<p>Monica just blinked at her, confused. “Sorry for what?”</p>
<p>“For what I just said, silly goose! She’s your girl!”</p>
<p>“Oh! Right, right. Yes, she is,” Monica said, and Darcy forced back a laugh.</p>
<p>“I sure am.”</p>
<p>There was an awkward silence until Monica cleared her throat and spoke. “Well. I think now is a good time for us to go get ready… babe.”</p>
<p>Darcy grinned. “Good idea, sweetheart! See you later, Agatha,” she said as they got up from the couch.</p>
<p>Once Agatha was gone, they broke out into giggles.</p>
<p>“Babe?”</p>
<p>“I can’t believe she called me ‘Mon!’”</p>
<p>“She called me your girl!”</p>
<p>“She’s ridiculous.”</p>
<p>Darcy laughed nervously. “Yeah, ridiculous.” They were both suddenly silent, staring into each other's eyes. Monica opened her mouth to say something, but there was a scream outside before she could speak, making them both jump.</p>
<p>“What the hell was that?” Monica said, standing up. </p>
<p>Darcy ran to the window and cracked open the curtains. “Holy shirt,” she said and turned to Monica. “The sinkhole. The forking sinkhole.”</p>
<p>They ran outside to see that the sinkhole had quickly grown to span from the river to the nearby park. On a closer look, they realized that the screaming was coming from Wanda, who was hanging onto the edge of the hole, about to fall in. Jimmy tried to pull her out but ended up in the same position right next to her.</p>
<p>He then caught sight of them. “Darcy! Monica!” he yelled. “Help!”</p>
<p>Monica carefully made her way closer to the hole and Darcy followed. “Don’t worry, guys,” Monica said. “We’ll get you out of there. Right, Darcy?” She looked up at Darcy, who swallowed nervously.</p>
<p>On one hand, she wanted to help Jimmy and Wanda — she liked them and it was the right thing to do. On the other, she’d seen what happened to Jimmy and really didn’t want that to happen to her.</p>
<p>“Right, Darcy?” Monica repeated.</p>
<p>Darcy looked between the three and took a breath. “Right. Right. Okay, what do we do?”</p>
<p>“We need a rope,” Monica said, hands on her hips. “Vision?”</p>
<p> Vision appeared. “What up?”</p>
<p>Monica frowned at the out-of-character colloquialism but asked, “Can you get us a rope?” </p>
<p>Vision pulled out a glass of milk. “No, that’s a glass of milk. We need a rope.”</p>
<p>Vision pulled out a ficus plant. “No, that’s a ficus. We need a rope.”</p>
<p>Vision pulled out a knife. “Vision, <em> no, </em> that’s a knife. We need a rope.”</p>
<p>Vision pulled out another ficus plant. “Vision!” Darcy snapped, saying his name right for the first time. “We. Need. A. Rope. If we don’t get this rope, Jim — Joseph and Wanda are forked. Give us a rope.”</p>
<p>Vision made a face, looking focused, and finally handed Darcy a rope. She took a deep breath and walked over to the pair in the sinkhole, first giving Wanda the end of the rope. Looking at Jimmy, she said, “We’ll get you out next. Just hang in there.”</p>
<p>Monica took the other end. “Hold on tight, Wanda,” she said, and they began pulling.</p>
<p>A minute later, Wanda was out, a bit muddy, but otherwise alright. “Thank you so much. So, so much.”</p>
<p>Darcy smiled at her before tossing the rope to Jimmy, and they did the same with him. Once they were both out and safe, the sinkhole slowly grew smaller, and Darcy had a realization.</p>
<p>“It’s me,” she whispered.</p>
<p>“What?” asked Monica.</p>
<p>“All this,” Darcy responded, gesturing around her. “I fought with you, everything fell apart. I lied to Agatha, everything got worse. I — <em>we </em>saved Jimmy and Wanda, the sinkhole started to close. It’s me. Everything I do affects this place.”</p>
<p>“Okay… so all you’ve got to do to fix this is keep doing good things, right?”</p>
<p>Darcy turned to her. “I’m still doing more harm than good, Monica.”</p>
<p>Monica’s eyes widened. “You’re not seriously considering turning yourself in, are you? I thought we had settled this, you --”</p>
<p>“No,” Darcy interrupted. “I’m not turning myself in. No way. But I’m thinking maybe there’s a medium place? Agatha didn’t mention it, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.”</p>
<p>“You can’t leave.”</p>
<p>“I have to,” she said. Vision was still standing there, so she asked, “Vision? Is there some kind of medium place? For medium people?”</p>
<p>“Sort of!” he said.</p>
<p>“Would you like to expand on that?”</p>
<p>“Right. There is a Place that isn’t good or bad, but it only inhabits one person. A man named Tony Stark. He was a bit of, pardon my language, an ashhole for most of his life, until he died to save the world. That gave him a massive boost in points, but he didn’t quite qualify for the Good Place. So, another Place was created just for Mr. Stark. It’s incredibly mediocre.”</p>
<p>“Wait, wait, wait,” Monica said. “What was he saving the world from?”</p>
<p>“I am not at liberty to say. That’s another thing I can’t tell you.”</p>
<p>“Well that’s bullshirt,” Darcy muttered. “How would one, hypothetically, get to this mediocre Place?”</p>
<p>“Easy! Just take that train,” he said, pointing to a train, veiled by trees, that she’d never noticed before.</p>
<p>“Wh — since when — where did that come from?”</p>
<p>“It’s always been there,” Vision said. “You just weren’t paying attention, what with how much time you spend at home with Monica.”</p>
<p>Darcy blushed slightly. “Right. Okay, um, any chance one could just… hop onto the train and go there?”</p>
<p>“Darcy, no!” Monica exclaimed, grabbing Darcy’s arm.</p>
<p>“Monica, I just don’t know what else to do,” she said with a sigh. “I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>Still on the ground, cleaning mud from his shoes, Jimmy spoke up. “I, for one, am entirely on board with this plan.”</p>
<p>“Seriously, Jimmy?” Monica said, looking down at him and not seeing Agatha walking up to the group.</p>
<p>“Who’s Jimmy?”</p>
<p>Monica’s eyes widened, realizing her mistake. “Oh, uh, no one! I just misspoke.”</p>
<p>“Hm. Okay, then,” Agatha said, frowning. “Oh! The sinkhole is closing! This is… wow. Interesting.”</p>
<p>At that moment, Darcy realized that Agatha knew. She had to know. Either she knew, or she really was as naïve as she acted, which didn’t seem likely.</p>
<p>Taking a risk, she tried to inconspicuously figure out the proportion of Agatha’s knowledge. “So, Agatha, what’s your theory on the cause of all this? Like, maybe a person? Or not a person. Something else, maybe.”</p>
<p>Very subtle.</p>
<p>Agatha looked straight at Darcy. “Not sure, why? Do you know something I don’t?”</p>
<p>“No, just wondering,” Darcy covered. If she didn’t know, she definitely suspected something now.</p>
<p>Narrowing her eyes, Agatha didn’t let up. “Really? Because that was an awfully suspicious thing to ask, Darcy… if that’s even your real name.”</p>
<p>“What? My name is definitely Darcy. I don’t know what you’re talking about.” It wasn’t technically a lie, but the sinkhole grew a few inches regardless, and Agatha didn’t miss it.</p>
<p>“What the hell… look, <em> definitely Darcy</em>, I know you know something. And I need you to tell me. Now.”</p>
<p>“Fine. Look, I’m not —”</p>
<p>It was then that Jimmy scrambled to his feet and interrupted her. “I’m not supposed to be here. My name isn’t Joseph. It’s Jimmy.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to do this,” Darcy whispered. “Please.”</p>
<p>“Whoever Joseph is, he deserves to be here. I don’t,” he said to Darcy, then turned back to Agatha and continued his confession. “I’m in the wrong Place.”</p>
<p>“Sorry, what?”</p>
<p>“I’m not supposed to be here,” he explained. “Something must have gotten mixed up and put me in the Good Place instead of the Bad Place. I’ve been pretending to be Joseph, I’m the thing messing up the neighborhood. Just me.”</p>
<p>The sinkhole shrank.</p>
<p>“He’s lying!” Darcy exclaimed. “It’s me.”</p>
<p>It shrank a little more.</p>
<p>“I’m the problem. My name <em> is </em> Darcy Lewis, but those aren’t my memories, that house sure as hell isn’t my essence, and Monica is not my soulmate.”</p>
<p>Agatha was silent for a minute, just standing there and staring at them until her face formed a pout and she groaned. “Oh, guys. Oh, no, no, no. This is terrible. What are we going to do?”</p>
<p>“What?” Darcy, Jimmy, and Monica said in unison.</p>
<p>“Well, we can’t have you going to the Bad Place!”</p>
<p>“I don’t… I’m confused,” Darcy said. “You’re not going to call Satan on us?”</p>
<p>“Of course not! You guys are my friends. And you know what they say — friends don’t send friends to the Bad Place,” Agatha said, then sighed. “But your existences alone are literally breaking the neighborhood.” Jimmy winced and Darcy grimaced at her bluntness. “So we’ve got to get you out of here. The problem is where to send you.”</p>
<p>“The Medium Place!” Darcy exclaimed. “It’s exactly where we belong, there’s only one person there — I don’t see a downside to this plan.”</p>
<p>“I definitely forking do,” Monica muttered.</p>
<p>“Oh, I don't know,” Agatha said. “What if you get caught?”</p>
<p>“Look, no matter where we are, we’re at risk of getting caught. At least we probably won’t be opening up sinkholes there, and I doubt anyone’s going to come looking for us.”</p>
<p>“I… fork. Okay. Darcy, Jimmy, get your ashes on that train.”</p>
<p>Jimmy and Agatha headed over to the train, but before Darcy could follow, Monica grabbed her arm. “Darcy. You can’t leave.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I have to,” she said, pulling away. “I don’t have a choice.”</p>
<p>“Fine. Then I’m coming with you,” Monica said with determination.</p>
<p>Darcy sighed. “Monica, no. You can’t do that. Especially not for me. You deserve to be here, you need to stay.” She turned around and walked away before Monica could respond, because if she did, Darcy knew she wouldn’t be able to leave.</p>
<p>Stepping onto the train where Jimmy was waiting, Darcy tried not to cry. She sat down and avoided looking in Monica’s direction until she heard her calling her name. When she turned back, Darcy saw Monica sprinting towards her. Suddenly, they were facing each other again, and without either saying a word, Monica put her hands on Darcy’s shoulders, gently pulled her down, and kissed her. Moments passed that felt like hours and when Monica pulled away, their foreheads touched and she smiled sadly.</p>
<p>Before Darcy could even process what had just happened, the train whistled loudly and began to move. As they grew farther and farther apart, Darcy and Monica maintained eye contact until they couldn’t see each other anymore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After about an hour, the train arrived at a station in the middle of a field of dry grass, and other than a one-story house, there was no sign of life. </p>
<p>“This is definitely medium,” Jimmy said, standing up and stretching. Neither of them had uttered a word the entire trip, Darcy wanting to be left alone and Jimmy having the sense to do just that. </p>
<p>Darcy huffed out a laugh. “Yeah, you can say that again. Visor wasn’t kidding when he said it was mediocre.”</p>
<p>They stepped out of the train and it quickly pulled away, leaving them alone. “I guess we should go meet the medium person now,” Jimmy said, and the pair walked up to the house. </p>
<p>Darcy knocked on the door, they waited for a minute, and it was eventually opened by a tired-looking man wearing baggy sweatpants and a t-shirt with holes in it. </p>
<p>“Tony Stark?” Darcy asked.</p>
<p>“Maybe,” he said. “Who the hell’s asking?”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i recognize that there is a lot of sleeping in this fic and that's because i have a headcanon that darcy naps all the time. so i made her nap all the time :) let me know if you liked this chapter! much appreciation for the support &lt;3</p>
<p>next time: a chapter from monica's pov!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>